Odds & Ends

In my line of work (As a Traveling Home Electrical Representative) I hand out a lot of brochures. Sometimes, it's the best I can do for people. Other times, it's my way of brushing them off. But I've noticed that we have a real lack when it comes to the brochures that are really needed. Instead of boring things like "Your Electric Meter", and the ever-popular "Why is My Electric Bill So High?" I think we need some new "Edgy" brochures.

Some of the titles I've come up with are:

"Why Do You Have To Be Such An Asshole?"

"Why Are You So Cheap?"

And, my personal favorite,

"Don't Make Me Open Up a Can of DPD on You!" (DPD is the Seattle Department of Planning and Development - a vortex of despair for any do-it-yourselfer)

I've suggested these titles, but I'm not making much headway. Utilities are so stick-in-the-mud.

But anyway, on to Michael Vick.

You've heard me rail on vulgarity countless times. But the gaudiest chandelier or the tackiest marble bathroom can't hold a candle to what this true Vulgarian has wrought. It doesn't take a dog lover to know that anyone who beats, tortures or kills a poor defenseless animal is the lowest kind of trash imaginable - but actually inviting similar trash into your home, to witness these atrocities? That's beyond the pale. Shame on the NFL for not immediately throwing him out - and shame on the NAACP for suggesting that the not be thrown out of the NFL.

Lastly, A happy note: The Colonel, as many of you know, has been promoted. He is now an Executive for The Empire Builder - the train that toils daily between Chicago and Seattle/Portland. While the Empire Builder has long been a standard for Taste and Decency, I expect that you will now find it rising to even more dizzying heights as he "Takes the Reins" of that American Icon.

The downside is that he will be on the road an awful lot, working in Chicago, but that's a small sacrifice to make for Our Nation's Institutions, don't you think?

Now for something much more sensible.....

Oh how I WISH this were in color...

All-Righty, then.....

On the Gritty Streets of Ballard....

Darlings, as I've undoubtedly mentioned before, the life of a Traveling Home Electrical Service Representative is not all orchids and limosines. Especially on hot days like this, which tend to bring out the worst in Seattleites. (we get cranky when our mildew starts to tan)

I have phone hours from 8am-10am, then I am out to "the field", where I encounter all sorts of unusual people. Like the woman today who asked me to hold on for a minute until she could put her teeth in. Or the do-it-yourselfer who greeted me in a thong (Why is it at the the wrong people invariably wear the thongs? Probably because there are only about one thousand people on the planet who can pull that look off, and apparently none of the live in Seattle)

But at least there is a glimmer of sanity out there, despite the heat. It was evidenced today by the woman at the Safeway, who sat down across from me at lunch, looked me square in the eye, and confided "It's days like this that made me give up wearing girdles"

The forecast is for more heat, and a lot more noise, as the Blue Angels and the Hydroplane Races descend upon Seattle this weekend to inexplicably enthrall the masses.

But more on that later...